Recently, I wrote on virtues and wasn't quite sure where it would go. But, it ignited an underlying passion that I hadn't felt in a while, so I've decided to make it a series. Virtues fit so well with the concepts in my book Zooch the Pooch, My best Friend, how we treat each other, how we raise our children and how we see ourselves in this very interesting world.
I covered three virtues in the previous article: politeness, fidelity and gratitude. I'm going to examine only one this month...humility and being humble.
According to Mr. Webster, to be humble is to: not be proud, haughty, arrogant or assertive. Synonyms were lowly, meek or modest. Not to be proud caught my eye. Webster said proud meant showing or feeling superiority over others.
I felt a stab in my stomach when I read how proud was described. I had always been taught to be proud of my accomplishments, not rub them in the face of others or be showy or arrogant about them, but to be pleased and develop confidence from it.
Many of the self-help and motivational books out today tell you to acknowledge your successes and celebrate them so you become accustomed to being successful. I agree with the descriptions of haughty, arrogant or too assertive, but pride, at least in today's world, and to me, needs to be a part of our lives even if only a small part.
When it comes to children I think it's hard not to be proud. We take pride in their accomplishments as they learn, is that considered wrong? Not if you don't hold it over another child or parent. We take pride in our local sports teams, is that also wrong? To the sports fanatic no, but to the rest of us who observe over-the-top enthusiasm which destroys property, public drunkenness and the foul language that often goes with it, then yes, I think it is wrong.
How do we share these differences with children? Parents need to take time to point out the behavior which is acceptable and that, which is not. Children will take your lead if you are giving them life's lessons from the heart. If adults are the one's who act inappropriately their children will emulate that behavior, resulting with a child who will in all likelihood repeat your mistakes instead of avoiding them.
I feel that we can take great pride in different things in life and still be humble. It is when we become too assertive, over-bearing or disdainful that we exhibit traits that beg for some discipline and virtue.
Our media and entertainment industries today have led young people to believe that the more extreme you are the more "cool" you are. More extreme sports, language, music, and lurid public displays are deemed "in" and encourage our kids to outdo each other with even more outrageous acts. Outrageous has become the name of the game.
This attitude is leading kids toward a big let down as they discover that it may be cool when you are still in school, but that in the outside world it won't get you very far. Unfortunately, it results in a poor overall education, leads to less than desirable jobs, relationships and experiences.
Instead of raising our standards in America, we are lowering them to a level of the uncouth, uneducated and unprepared, combined with mean and ordinary. That's not the America I want...do you?
So, how would a modern person display humility or humbleness?
They would be a person who was strong of character and integrity, living life to it's fullest, but not flaunting it, one who carries no conceit, yet receives everyone with equality and benevolence. He or she would be honest, happy, confident, friendly, accepting, and focused.
Teaching ourselves to live in this manner, as well as our children, will result in a society that sees itself as unassuming, yet polished, proud, yet, unpretentious.
Virtues are interesting when you look at them this way. We can see how, by some simple changes in our actions, we can improve the lives of our children and ourselves. Pick one day in which you will watch yourself to see if you are living your life in a virtuous manner or if you need some adjustment too. Many of us do, we aren't perfect, but we can shoot for it, right?
Anyway you look at it; it's one man's opinion, mine.
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