Divorce is not an event, but a process. In marriage so many insidious things, acts and attitudes come into play with the sole aim of bringing about a divorce. Most marriage couples do not know their spouses as they truly are. These people in their marriage pretend all the time, concealing their inadequacies but tell their spouse what they like to hear. Do not expect your unfaithful spouse to announce to you with a vuvuzela (the South African's local trumpet), "I am unfaithful" or carry a placard on their neck with the inscription, "I am only pretending to love you. Watch out for a divorce!" That surely will never happen! Rather, every person in marriage should look out for what I call the "the signs of unfaithfulness". These signs eventually speed up the divorce process.
Just like in the art of medicine, signs and symptoms are used to diagnose an internal body problem, one can easily figure out if his or her relationship is on the verge of collapse or in the process of being wrecked by an insurmountable divorce by learning to identify these signs of unfaithfulness. Let go through these signs of unfaithfulness now!
Sign #1: A partner with a weak moral conduct.
Do not be fooled by the beauty of your wife, girlfriend, or the well built body of your man, that you relegate their moral behaviors to the background. In any marital relationship, though beauty is essential, however, beauty is temporary, but morality will stand tall and be the deciding factor in the longevity of the relationship.
If you have a spouse with an importunate problem of immorality, take note of such a spouse. He or she could frustrate you or turn against you one day in your relationship. For example, when your spouse is sexually unscrupulous or weak, that is, cannot control his or her appetite for sex and easily fall for anything in skirt or trousers, then you better anticipate the unfortunate to happen - quarrels, fights, filing of a divorce, divorce. When your spouse's morality is questionable, then his or her faithfulness is highly uncertain.
Sign #2: A spouse that lets you down in times of predicaments.
Watch out for a wife or husband who is strangely absent during his or her partners difficult moments, when he or she could have easily been present. During the saccharine times of your relationship, you can hardly figure out the true colors of your partner. However, it is in times of anxiety that you see the true character of your partner. Try rebuking your spouse sharply in the heat of events and watch how he or she would behave in such times. It will surely tell you something about his or her faithfulness and extent of love he or she have for you. Even if in the heat of events you do offend him or her, remember that love suffers long, covers a multitude of sin, and does not behave itself unseemly. These should be the litmus test of your partners love and faithfulness to you.
Does your spouse or love one forgets your birthday of late? Or he or she does not show up on the funeral day of a close relative? Then, his or her faithfulness to you is arguable.
Sign #3: Your spouse only loves you when you shower her with gifts or money.
In college, I had a Biochemistry mate. He was my close pal and still is. This friend of my fell in love with a gorgeous lady on campus. My friend's girl lived extravagantly. Every thing of hers was pretty expensive. She always unreasonably demanded from my friend. When I tried to advise my friend about the frivolous demands her girl made, he only condemned me by saying, "You Theo must learn to make a girl happy." I knew the girl was with my friend because of what she gets from him.
After school, they got married. Words cannot lucidly depict their wedding. It is was one in town! His girl was able to convince him to loan some money from the institution he was working with so to put up a spectacular wedding. Some few months after their wedding, my predictions came to pass one after the other. The two became very broke. Pressure on them from the institution my friend borrowed the money became very ferocious. The lady began to exhibit her true colors to my friend. My friend categorically told me, "My wife's love for me finished when my last cent was gone." He continued, "As I speak, it has been a month since I last saw her. What she said that really marred me was that, she was sorry for herself for marrying a useless person like me. I hear she is with a rich Caribbean in Hawaii as we speak."
King Solomon of Bible days Israel wrote: "He that loves silver shall never be satisfy with silver." Never base your relationship on money. Robert Kiyosaki's Rich Dad said, "Money is not real." I believe that too! Therefore, when your love is based on how much money you get from your partner, then your love is not real. This explains why most employees rebel against their employers. Their relationship is basically like: I give you money + I get my money on time = We work together. When one loves the creators creation and not the creator, then, the relationship between that person and the creator is devoid of faithfulness. If your spouse seems to love you for what you have, and not who you are, question his or her faithfulness to you!
Sign #4: Your wife tells you she can head the family better than you the man.
Please do not chortle at this sign! When your wife (and women forgive me on this) jokingly or seriously tells you she can head the family better than you do, you better sit up. She might have had those thoughts for some time and she is now voicing it up. From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Such a wife may be despising you, lost confident in you and in her heart may not be considering you as the head of the family. When you despise someone, you can easily exhibit all kinds of loutish and obnoxious behaviors towards that person. When such an attitude is translated in the marriage setup, a chaotic marriage is the outcome.
Sign #5: A spouse who has been in several relationships before he or she met you.
Beware of a man or woman who has been with other women or men before meeting you. Such a person can be deadly! But there may be exceptional ones out there. But in terms of the more or less, please! just beware of people who have been in some relationships before and broke up. If he or she was unfaithful to his or her former girlfriend or boyfriend, he or she is likely to be unfaithful to you one day. Do not admit such a person into your fold and cheaply think that he or she will be loyal to you. People don't easily change over night. Before you enter into a marital relationship with such fellow, be persuaded of her past and character.
Sign #6: A person who speaks negatively about his or her spouse in public.
Mark your spouse when he or she say all sorts of negative things about you in public, to friends or family members. I never befriend someone who attacks his or her spouse verbally. I have listened as many wives said all sorts of nonconstructive things about their own husbands. Perhaps they thought they were gaining my sympathies, but the more they talked the more treacherous I found them to be. Not surprisingly to me all this wives later divorced their husbands. From the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
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